Listening to conversations people have amongst their friends and family fascinates me. It’s the conversations where they sit and talk about all the things they wish they could have or do.
Have you ever had or heard these conversations?
Will I EVER get my dream job? Will I EVER get my dream client? Will I EVER get my dream car, house, girl, guy….you name it, the will I ever conversation usually comes up.
This conversation also gets disguised as “it sure would be nice if”…or also commonly known as envy-itis!
What’s all this talk about though? What’s the real problem?
Is it time? Is it lack of resources? Is it lack of willpower? I know time is always a factor for people. As adults it’s easy to lose track of time.
Heck, my son is turning 10 soon and I am not only ridiculously sad about that, but I’m amazed at how quickly the past ten years have flown by.
The cliché does exist, doesn’t it? That time flies!
Regardless if we like it or not, time does sometimes get away from us. But how are we really using our time?
As kids we were taught to fantasize and daydream about our futures. We are not only taught how to fantasize but living in the land of make believe was all we were encouraged to do.
I remember many times creating tea parties with my cabbage patch and Barbie dolls. I even would stage concerts where I would perform for my family on my fireplace ledge (but only if my great grandmother would bring the Twinkies for the concert)! And Yes, I secretly wanted to be a rock star!
Why was this ‘play’ and fantasy/daydream time so important though? It wasn’t just about cute kids being cute. It was about allowing our brains to explore and stretch and reach the creativity that now a days is typically untapped.
Parents don’t realize what gift they are giving in allowing this play and fantasy time.
AND now that we are adults what happens? When was the last time we just sat and daydreamed or allowed ourselves to fully tap into the creative fantasy part of our brains?
It’s not very common is it, because as adults this isn’t what we are supposed to do! We are supposed to be serious and ‘be busy’ all day long!!
What would you say if I told you the key to all success and creativity starts with our own mindsets?
Ugh, more mindset talk, will this ever end?
No, no the mindset talk will not ever end because mindset is everything. Period. No way around it. As adults we just learn some bad habits because let’s face it, sometimes being an adult is really stinkin’ hard!
We get tired and worn out and taken in a lot of directions and our mindset starts to take a nose dive.
Then our creativity and playtime gets moved out of the way because we are taught that when things get tough or stressful, just push through and endure without giving much weight to how we are mentally adapting and growing.
Mindset is the underlying factor in our overall success.
Mindset is what allows us to create new ideas. Mindset is the key to learning and growing and becoming adaptable.
Mindset is everything!
Success is something that each person defines a little differently. But regardless of the definition of success, the path to fulfillment and happiness comes from our ability to create the best mindset possible.
Have you ever read the book, As A Man Thinketh? If not, it’s a great read. And quick.
The point to “As a Man Thinketh” seems pretty self explanatory although usually extremely overlooked. Everything we do comes from the way we think.
Life is that simple, but we always have a way of mucking it up.
Every action and result comes from our thoughts. What we think is what we believe. What we believe turns into our actions, which leads to our results. Then, voila…that’s how we become a success, or not.
But how do I go from will it ever to oh my goodness it actually happened?
There are a lot of strategies and reprogramming that must take place. I’ll save a lot of this programming talk for another day. But today, I want to say it can be pretty simple.
Monitor your thoughts. Take time for yourself to really listen to what you say.
That’s it! (Simple but not so simple, right?!) In order to create positive momentum and change you will want to move from the thought.
…”Will it ever happen”
…to “How can it happen”
Or “What can i do to make it happen”
Perspective is everything and taking time to listen to your thoughts and what you say will help propel you into a new reality!
5 quick mindset shifts to take you from thinking, “will it ever” to “I am now”
1. Plan Daily Recreation
Duh, we all know we need fun and downtime in our days, right?! It does sound so simple, but how many people actually plan out and have some real fun each day? I don’t just mean getting up at 5 am to drag your half awake body to the gym and force yourself to push through a grueling session of Cross Fit. Although a morning workout is highly recommended, recreation time is still different.
It’s called fun time. Time to let your whole mind and body escape to a place that’s fun. Relaxation sparks creativity and releases the good chemicals in our brains.
Think of the Friends episode where Phoebe skips through Central Park! What a total buffoon she looked like, but I bet she had a lot of fun.
When we can get our brains in a state of creativity, we can fire off great ideas, motivation, and even find the drive to keep moving forward when things get tough.
Even 10 minutes of a really fun activity can make a major impact on our brains and our mindset!
2. Reflection Time
This is just the opposite from daydreaming and having fun.
It’s not meant to be a difficult time, just more of an honest time to sit quietly and observe. This sounds so simple I know, but it’s one the toughest things for people to do. They don’t plan time in their day for themselves in reflection.
I won’t get into the debate if meditation works or not right now, but will simply say, taking any time to allow yourself to review and reflect will help you grow and move forward.
By reflection, I don’t mean beating yourself up for eating that extra cookie or getting angry in traffic when that big jerk cut you off during your drive home.
No, by reflection, I mean allowing you to look at what worked well the past day or so. What didn’t work so well. Allowing yourself to see one or two things you can improve upon while also seeing the things that you’ve done well will keep you in a state of growth and moving forward, rather than just being stuck thinking about the jerk that may have given you a number one salute during the evening commute.
3. 5 Minute Mindset Break.
Each Hour Set a quick 5 minute mindset break. This is very simple. Set a timer on your phone or computer at least every 60 minutes.
When it goes off take a quick break where you stretch and yawn deeply. Don’t just stretch; really take a slow and deep stretch. You know the big stretch that will even make your eyes water.
Feel the stretch and refocus your eyes. Give your brain and body some oxygen.
Add this one on to your stretch break. Just daydream. Simple right? Ask a five year old how to do it if you don’t remember! Looking in the sky or taking a quick walk will allow you to daydream easier. This is neither a structured thing nor a high pressure to execute on the most elaborate daytime dream. Just let your mind wander and stare into a tree or the sky, or watch the wind blow the grass.
Let your mind wander and allow it to jump from one imagination triggered thing after another. Or not. Allow your mind, if it wants to just stares at the blade of grass and watches an ant crawl from one blade to another. It’s okay. Just daydream. Be present and listen to what your brain says and where it takes you.
5. Always end the day in gratitude.
Actually anytime your brain starts to get into a major pity party or case of the self doubts, turning to gratitude will help.
Oprah may have made the gratitude journal popular back in the day, but she wasn’t wrong. It’s because gratitude sends our brains into a state of calm and positivity when we are in a state of gratefulness. In other words, we quiet the worry brain!
A study from National Institutes of Health Concluded that counting blessings seems to be an effective intervention for enhancing well-being in adolescents. Many studies have been performed on brain activity and mood enhancement caused by gratitude.
Ever see the Friend’s episode where Phoebe and Joey argue about selfless deeds? (I know, I reference way too may Friends episodes, I cannot help it, Friends was part of my formative years in college!)
Anyhoo, the point to that episode was that if you do a good deed for someone else and make them feel better, you cannot NOT feel better also. You feel good.
Same thing applies when pushing yourself into gratitude. It feels good to know what you’re truly grateful for. When you feel good, you allow yourself to attract more good. When you attract more good, you become closer to your dreams.
Although these five daily mindset hacks will help you shift your mindset and feel better each day, there are many other things that can be done throughout the day to put you in a better state of success and create new perspectives. The point of these quick five tips is to be consistent.
Accomplishing these five things will allow you to learn how to shift your brain from “will I ever”, to “I can and I am.”
These mindset shifts will propel you forward into success, no matter what that may look like for you.
My goal for you is next time you are sitting around talking with friends and family, instead of saying will I ever, or I wish I could, or I wish I had what they have, I want you to say, look at what I’m doing and who I am becoming!