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Key Tips and Takeaways from this episode

• What you will learn from today’s episode.
• What neuroscience has to say about change and success
• The single most important thing about a New Year’s Resolution
• Why most people fail at resolutions
• Why Reflection is crucial in this whole discussion
• How to view habits and attach your goals to your everyday life
• Why resolutions alone are not enough
• How to stay on track with your goals
• How to set your goals and determine what you want
• The two most important things to have true success
• Top reasons to set new year’s resolutions

• AND MORE…..

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Tune in and as you watch or listen to this episode.  Pause every 5-10 minutes and mindfully reflect on what you just heard. 
Write down your thoughts, then yawn and stretch before proceeding.

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Remember….What You THINK Matters.  

More About The Go Reflect Yourself Podcast

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To truly have the life you want; the career, house, family, relationships, car, lifestyle, wealth, freedom, you name it….you must learn what success is and where it comes from, starting with how you think.

Welcome to The Go Reflect Yourself Podcast, where we provide 60-second brain-based strategies for your success; in all key areas of your life, including wealth, health, business, relationships, etc. 

Go Reflect Yourself was created after years of being a corporate employee and an independent business owner. Throughout all of those years, I learned that no matter what level of success people had achieved, and specifically financial success, typically they were still missing something, missing true joy, well-being, and fulfillment. 

I’ve spent a career helping business owners, leaders, and entrepreneurs learn the skills needed to discover their inner brilliance, and that’s how Go Reflect Yourself was born…my goal is to help as many as possible learn the necessary skills to achieve ultimate fulfillment and well-being.

I am your host, Heather J. Crider, CEO of Heather J. Crider & Co., a high-performance neurocoach, , author, search inside yourself facilitator, business strategist, and keynote speaker. (and mom!)

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Full Transcript (unedited!)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

habits, people, new year’s resolutions, year, reflecting, mindset, brain, achieve, values, burnout, resolutions, life, unhealthy habits, set, big, new year’s resolution, success, meditation, podcast, goals

00:00

Should I or should I not? This is one of the biggest questions we encounter when we’re closing out one year and coming into a new year. So what’s the answer when it comes to setting a new year’s resolution? Let’s talk about that on today’s episode.

Hi there. My name is Heather J Crider and I welcome you to the Go reflect yourself Podcast. I’m here to bring you real, practical, brain based strategies helping you transform your life. One thought at a time, working hard and staying busy will only get you so far. To truly become happy content and who you’re meant to be. You have to move beyond physical capacities and look from within. Allowing you to overcome those obstacles and barriers. My mission is to help inspire you to take massive action to transform your life all starting from the inside out. I invite you to watch or listen to this podcast and share it with others who you feel could also benefit from it. I invite you to join my free Facebook group beat burnout. That’s where we provide more practical neuroscience and mindset strategies, helping you reduce stress, anxiety and overcome overwhelm. Thank you so much for being here. I’m honored and grateful for you. You’re stronger than you believe. You have greater powers then you know,

the top reasons to set your New Year’s resolutions and the single most important way to achieve success in 2023. A few years ago, I recorded a podcast about this topic. I don’t remember what the title, but it was probably something like why you should not set new year’s resolutions. I’m now taking that back. And in this episode, I’m going to talk about that of the top reasons why you should set new year’s resolutions and I don’t believe in the word should.

However, hopefully you get what I mean. If you go back though, and listen to that, or if you have listened to it, I’m going to repeat some things. I’m most certainly going to change a perspective for you though, which is what evolution and elevating yourself is all about. Let’s just cut to it right now though. New Year’s resolutions don’t work 75 to 80% of the time, and probably higher than a lot of cases. But if you think about it by the first of February 75 to 85% of resolutions are long forgotten a bout most of the weight us stop smoking, stop drinking, stop eating sugar, stop using bad language, stop sleeping late stop staying up late, whatever the stop doing or the reduce doing their broken or there’s so far most people have spiraled into some unmanageable vortex of self loathing that they cannot climb out of because they’ve either forgotten about the resolutions, or they’ve just fallen completely off the wagon. Maybe, maybe not. But maybe all of that was a little dramatic. But let’s just think about it for a second. Okay, put yourself into any resolution you may have had in the past. So maybe you’ve done really well for a few days or the first few weeks. Maybe at the beginning of the year. You jumped right in. You joined a new gym or you got a new trainer. You got a new health plan. And then maybe you cheated a little bit. Maybe one day you had a little bite of cake or a few bites of cake instead of the whole piece. Maybe one day you skipped the gym. Maybe one day you overslept. Maybe one day, you just had one drink instead of two or three, then maybe you got sick, maybe, I don’t know, before you know it, it’s now February. And then you think, oh geez, well, I’ve lost a whole month.

Now what? I can’t recover, or Okay, so maybe you do recover a little bit. Maybe you say, Okay, I got this, it’s only February, I can do this. So then you get your booty to the gym, you have three great days, then you have to take a business trip, or then somebody else gets sick, give a kid sick, or maybe you have to leave for some other reason. Whatever the reason here, you know what I’m talking about. You completely get off of whatever cycle whatever. I’m trying to come up with a word intention. It’s just the intention. You just completely your intentions are good, but you just can’t keep a consistent schedule. So this cycle of Have you try and then not so? Well, you try and then it doesn’t go. So well, the cycle continues. And then all of a sudden, it’s November and well, you know how that is in the holidays? So maybe you can relate to this? Can I hear? Can I hear it? Amen? Can you relate at all? I know, for me, when I look back over the years, this cycle, in various ways, has happened over and over and over, then I feel bad about myself, then I have shame, then I have guilt. And I think all these negative things about myself that I do go into self loathing. And then I really start thinking, Well, I’m never going to achieve this or that, I’m never going to make the money I want to make, I’m never going to have my goal fitness that I want to have. And then it really becomes red rinse and repeat in your resolutions don’t work. And that’s why they usually don’t. So let’s break this down a little bit more, why don’t they actually work? Most people get them all wrong, and approach a new year all totally wrong and totally backwards. So I’m going to give you two main points right now. And then I’m going to talk about it a little bit more and try to give some a little bit more steps. And I am actually going to go through this as rapidly as possible, just to really keep this short and tight and sweet. But as with everything, there’s much more support beyond this. And that’s what my programs are for. And that’s what all of my workshops really uncovers. How do we unpack this, so But let’s go back to you right now, two main points, really to success and happiness boil down to ready, mindset number one, and number two habits. So before you even think about setting a new year’s resolution,

07:08

and before you really even start to set what you desire, set what your goals are. And I’ll be honest, those are really all very different topics. And this is part of the reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail just straight up fail. Because all of these things most people try to just cram in, in one day, or New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, or it’s not really a regular part of their life and lifestyle of really looking at reflection on a consistent basis or looking at goals on a consistent basis or looking at mindset and habits on a consistent basis. So when we start cold turkey, and when we just say okay, I’m gonna start the year off clean, good writtens to 2022, you sucked 2022 Or you were awful 2022. And most people will do that most people will approach the end of the year and say, oh my god, I’m so glad this year is over. And let me tell you a couple things. Number one, I had a pretty transitional year for myself, a lot of personal things actually happened. I lost someone who was extremely, extremely important and close to me, actually three people who are extremely important and close to me. I had a car accident. I totaled my car, which for me, and thank goodness, I’m okay. But for me, losing my car was a big deal for me. So I’m only saying this because I too have had a lot of major transitions. And you know what? I do not look at 2022 as good a writtens you were awful. You sucked. I can’t wait to start a new year. I don’t look at it at all like that. What I look at it like is what did it teach me? What are the really great things that I’ve learned? What are the really great things I’ve accomplished? And what are the things I really do want to change. And with all of these major life things that have happened to me and the loss that I’ve I’ve gone through, that’s really for me taken a lot of time back to reflect and to go through and to say okay, these people were very, very close to me. And I appreciate these parts about these people and I appreciate myself when I’m with these people, and how can I continue to have that and support that for me going forward? And that’s really what starting a new year should be about but most people will say I just want to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. starting fresh is a good intention, but it does does not work, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. But starting with a clean slate doesn’t work, you have a brain, your brain has thoughts, beliefs and habits. And let me tell you, those habits are pathways in your brain and they are set. They just are, unless you take a minute, or two, or three or four, to rewire those pathways, and to rewire those habits, which can be achieved, if you choose to, the most people don’t really know how to do that. So these habits and these pathways in your brain, continue, despite your best intentions. And despite the biggest lofty is most elaborate New Year’s resolution you could set for yourself. And it is very easy to get stuck in a rut. And that’s what, quite frankly, the brain kind of does, the brain wants to keep you safe and comfortable. And even let’s just take smoking, for example. And I’ve talked about this a lot in a lot of different ways. Let’s say your best intention is to just quit smoking, you can do it, you absolutely can do it. But there’s so many things involved with that, to change your brain of how you view yourself. First of all, why do you want to second of all you already identify yourself as a smoker, you have to rewire that you have to rewire your own identity, you have to understand why you want to change, you have to understand who you want to be differently as a non smoker. And so really what I’m coming down to, and I’m probably going to start going into a lot of different circles here. But everything comes down down to really reflecting. So when we look at our new year’s resolutions, and we when we want to look at how can we have a more successful 2023? How can we have a more successful year, and set different habits to support me. So I’ll go back to what I said earlier, success boils down to two main points, mindset and habits. When you look go through each month, really give yourself a few hours, a few days, go through each month of the past year, look at what you have achieved, look at what went really well look at the people that you were with me made you feel joyful and alive. And better than you even wanting to be thinking about those people think about those situations, think about what you’ve accomplished the positive things, and really savor them. And really understand the characteristics of those moments, those experiences. And from what you’ve achieved, what habits got you there? What are the habits that helped support those achievements? And then go through and look at the things that you didn’t achieve the things that you would like to have done differently, the learning lessons along the way. And the could do it over again. How would you approach it? What mindset would you approach it with this time? So the reason I say it like that very slowly and intentionally is most people look at mistakes, like Woulda, Shoulda COULDA, if I knew this now, if I knew then what I know now this is what I could have done. And so I encourage you, when you go back and you look at things that you could have done this year, or that you would have liked to have done differently. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not about shame. It’s not about guilt. It’s not about saying, Yeah, you big dummy, you should have done that. It’s not about that at all. It’s saying, hey, guess what, I’m looking at this now through a new and a different lens. And this is how I would have approached it then knowing what I know now. And the reason that’s important is because you can take that lesson and you can take that new perspective and the new way of viewing this thing. And now you can rewrite it for going forward and break down those habits in a more productive way. So everything is about reflecting, learning, and really breaking down the habits and mindset to help you improve on the next year. So, just to keep it simple. My suggestion for you is to take one area of your life start with one and hey, guess what? You can You can, absolutely can reset your New Year’s resolutions every quarter. This is not a only at the New Year thing. This is part of those habits, and part of looking and reflecting every month looking and reflecting every quarter, and looking and reflecting every six months. And every year, the more you get into the habit of really saying, Okay, this went really well, I need to strengthen that. This didn’t go so well. What are the lessons? What are the opportunities? And what perspective could I have approached it, then that now I have the opportunity to approach now. So pick one area of your life, just one. And for a lot of people that’s either money, or it’s either health. Those are both really, really big things. So it has to be manageable, it has to be something that you can incorporate, when you start making changes. Again, that’s why most people don’t actually achieve their New Year’s resolutions because they attach too big of a change. Their brain freaks out, your brain can’t handle that big of a change at once without freaking out everything. And that’s the layman’s terms, of course. But that’s kind of what’s happening in your brain.

16:28

So let’s say that you want to lose weight, set a realistic goal, you just want to lose five pounds. Okay, set a very realistic goal, simple way of doing that. Keep it simple, every single week, and achieve one thing every single week, maybe you start simply with just quit drinking soda diet or not. Maybe it’s no food after 8pm. If you go to bed at 10 or 1030, maybe it’s walking more in one day, specifically walking 15 minutes more briskly, keep it super simple each week, then savor what you’ve accomplished. And then add a little bit more tweak it a little bit more. This is what’s going to help you achieve success and really, really make plans and help you improve. The reason number one you get stuck in a rut is because either your goals are way too big. Or you just go right back into those habits where the rut is just, it’s hard when you’re in a rut. It’s hard to get out of a rut. But you kind of have to go slowly. To help you stay motivated, the best thing to do is reflect every single week on what you have accomplished. It’s that simple. Everything comes down to mindset and habits. The other thing I would like to really invite you to think about during this process when you go through your year. And you really look at what you’re happy with what you feel successful with why it was successful. When you really start looking at what are your goals for 2023. And again, most people look at all areas of their life and when I do strategic plans with my clients and when I really take a deep dive look we will absolutely look at every key area of life, business, financial health, personal, spiritual, mindset, fun relationships, we look at everything. But we don’t change everything either. We strengthen and we really take a look at you as the individual. Not that all these things and pieces are mutually mutually exclusive because you are one human being have one life you don’t have a work life. You don’t have a personal life you’re one human, your work your personal it’s part of you. My point though, is when you’re really going through and you’re reflecting and you’re looking at okay, I want to achieve I want to be healthier. Most people will say well I’m gonna lose weight. That’s really not what you want. You want to look better and you want to feel better. You want to feel better first than you want to look better. Really think about though what your what I call your soul. Really your true you what are your values, what are your actual values, think about it, and really take a moment to reflect on that. is freedom of value is peace of value as love of value is truth of value is knowledge of value is respect to value is love of value, I think already said that is cooperation of value is understanding of value is calm a value is empowerment of value, just really start thinking about those, and what is your core value that you want to drive through the rest of this year, your values really need to be your values, and most people don’t really stop and take the time to really understand that. And there’s a whole other conversation about this that I’ll have in the future. And I’m sure I’ve already had another podcast, but most of our values aren’t our own. Most of our values are from the people that we were associated with, in our formative years, and our youth, and the people that continue to influence us today. Most of our values come from what we were taught and told, not from what we actually connected with our true soul to discover. And I have several core values. And I tried to really think about each year, what that deep value is, that’s going to drive me and remind me who I am and who I want to be. And that’s what it comes down to. That’s why the name of this podcast is go reflect yourself, because it all comes down to you have the power to change your thoughts. But every everything in your life, right now comes down to the way you thought, the way you’ve behaved, the way you feel. And your actions became your results, which all are part of your mindset, your habits. So everything you have today comes from all of those things, and you are the only one that has the true power to change it. And I said earlier talking about the neural pathways in your brain, that’s that comes from habits. The way you were influenced as a child created these habits in your brain that your habits of thinking. So sometimes Zig Ziglar says sometimes you got to get rid of the stinking thinking. Now, I’m not saying all your thinking is bad. It’s not about that. It’s my whole point right now is what are your values, what drives through you? So when you are the reason that’s important, is when you’re setting these goals, and you’re trying to create these habits of I want to go to the gym three times this week, and I want to not drink any soda. That’s a hypothetical habit. I don’t drink soda, I just feel inclined to say that I haven’t for years. But when I stopped drinking soda in my 20s, the reason was because I learned how harmful it was to my health and my body. And one of my values is to feel good. One of my values is to be as clean as I can in my body. And so those are the things if I keep reminding myself every day, what are my core values? What’s the one value that I want to read through with every decision I have? And what are my core values to help me when I’m making these decisions. So let’s summarize here. You shouldn’t set new year’s resolutions, but they should be manageable. And there should be super small, bite sized New Year’s resolutions that each week you can accomplish and savor when you do. The key to success and happiness with everything comes down to mindset and habits. The way you really really start to elevate and evolve your mindset and your habits come from really really sticking to your core soul values that will help you strengthen who you are and strengthen who you want to become. I’m gonna put together a worksheet that comes with this discussion today. Go to my website Heather J crider.com. And get the worksheet there’ll be no opt in you don’t have to give me your email nothing. I want you to have this just so you can be supported. Because you need to have success and you deserve success. You deserve to be able to live Freer lighter, calmer, with more love with more pas with more success. You deserve that and I wish that for you in this coming year. Hi, thank you so much for listening. And please reach out to me. Let me know how I can support you. I’m always here. We all like to escape ourselves and our everyday lives from time to time, and it’s healthy to do so. But what habits do we have become unhealthy and can even be harmful? Often, unhealthy habits just happen and become part of our unconscious lives, and we don’t realize it, the need to escape our reality rather than to embrace being with ourselves is a pretty telling sign that something might be going on. And we often aren’t aware to even notice. So, meditation is a great way to learn how to go deeper into your life, rather than escape from it. But meditation can also be a challenge to figure out and how do you do it? And how do you break these unhealthy habits or even have some awareness? I’d like to invite you to meet me over at my Facebook group called Beat burnout, where I post neuroscience back practices that can help you learn to go deeper into your life and learn positive ways to cope with stress

26:16

and definitely avoid burnout. I posted recently a free meditation titled your getaway. This meditation is a great way of learning how to create a healthy getaway that can help you cope and be kind to yourself even during times of stress and overwhelm. I hope to see you over there at the Facebook group beat burnout. I’d like to ask a favor of you and please take a moment to rate and review this podcast. It will do me a great favor and help me get this material in front of more people. Also feel free to share with someone you feel could benefit as well. Thank you so much for being here with me today.